Hafnarfjörður youth discussed violence at the youth assembly

More than 600 children aged 13–15 say that another teenager has performed oral sex or intercourse with them against their will. This is not sexual harassment but the most serious form of sexual violence, rape. These numbers are far too high, says Kolbrún Hrund Sigurgeirsdóttir, project manager for violence prevention and sexual health at Save the Children Iceland. She led Save the Children’s Youth Assembly on sexual violence in close relationships at the Scout House on Hjallabraut earlier this morning.

The goal of these assemblies is to gain insight into the experiences and views of young people and what they want to communicate regarding violence in close relationships. The participants worked in groups at tables of six, guided by specialists, with a pizza gathering afterwards. This morning’s participants came from the upper grades of Hafnarfjörður’s compulsory schools and the first year of FG.

A topic that needs to be talked about

This is an issue we need to talk about, says Rakel Sunna Magnúsdóttir from Víðistaðaskóli. This is our voice and what we are dealing with. It is good to have this opportunity. Rakel Sunna says she was most surprised by how everyone agreed.

We were all thinking about it together and working on the issue. But what needs to be done? Our group wants to improve the education and definitely receive more information about psychological violence.

Jón Gísli Eðvaldsson from Áslandsskóli said the day had been good. These were helpful discussions and it is very nice that there is an organisation that helps children and supports them, showing them what they can do to find help. Leon Freyr Stefánsson from the same school agrees. Yes, this helps children get support and understand better what violence is. He lists resources such as 1717 and Bergið headspace.

To Stígamót because of their teenage years

Kolbrún Hrund from Save the Children says there is clearly a need for this kind of discussion. The fact that year after year, more than half of those who come to Stígamót are dealing with violence they experienced before turning 18 shows this. We must change this and bring the number down. We have to talk to young people to know how to do that. What are they facing? What are the challenges? What solutions do they believe will work? The authorities must listen.

And how did the young people of Hafnarfjörður do? Brilliantly, she says. Many more wanted to participate than there was room for, and we knew we were getting interested and engaged kids.

Knowing right from wrong

Kristín Blöndal Ragnarsdóttir, sexuality education and science teacher at Lækjarskóli and human rights teaching coordinator for Hafnarfjörður, says today’s discussions aligned with what young people were talking about in the schools during Vika6.

Unfortunately, far too many of these young people have experienced violence or will experience it. So it is empowering for them to take part in this kind of discussion, and it is incredibly educational to hear what others have to say, says Kristín. They all need this education and need to be aware of the issue. They need to learn the difference between right and wrong.

Adults not fully in line with the young

Hrafnkatla Örk Gunnarsdóttir, Salka Guðrún Andrésdóttir and Elfa Íris Einarsdóttir from Öldutúnsskóli say the day was educational and important.

We think it is important that adults understand how serious this is and how far it has already developed among teenagers, says Salka. They agree that the internet and social media play a major role. The boundaries of what counts as violence and what does not are very blurred. Especially with psychological violence, says Salka. Hrafnkatla says psychological violence is the root of other forms of violence.

Sexual and physical violence often begin with this psychological violence, and I do not think we talk enough about it. Kids and people often do not know that they are experiencing psychological violence or that they are using it. This has such long‑term effects on people, says Hrafnkatla. People sometimes think this is normal, but it is not.

They felt that the perspective of the young and the adults at the assembly differed. Yes, we were surprised by how little they knew about this, because this issue is not talked about enough.

The results presented at the end of April

But what happens to the discussions next? We compile all the results, says Kolbrún. We visit six locations around the country. We look specifically at each region and whether any of them stand out, either by having little education or a lot, by how well they reach young people or not. We will give the results to the local municipalities and also present the findings in full at a workshop on April 29. There we will hand the results to the government, the police and the school system.

But will they listen? I have to believe that. There is no other choice.